Before I get into this, I want to add a quick little disclaimer. In order to write about my experience with this tea, I need to mention the ‘cleansing’ effect it had. While I’m not going to go into gruesome detail, I do need to mention poop so if that offends you, you’re probably best not to read on.
We’ve all seen these types of teas flaunted all over social media usually accompanied by photos of incredibly toned six packs and scantily clad models. Perhaps a blogger or influencer has been paid to advertise them. Somewhere out there I imagine there are people shelling out for these products in the hopes that they will drop some weight while, on my feed anyway, there are a lot of people making fun and calling out this ridiculous racket. While I don’t – and never have – believed drinking a certain type of tea will directly result in me achieving my dream body, I did always have that little voice whispering in my ear “but what if it did something?!” So when I was contacted by the people behind Fabuloss Detox Tea and offered a chance to try it for free, I wondered what was the worst that could happen and agreed to give it a go.
If you’ve never visited my blog before, you may not know that I don’t dance around the truth. I’m always completely honest. I don’t see the point in lying. It takes away from the whole purpose of blogging and away from my integrity. If you think this is going to be a paid-for sponsored advertorial where I show you a before and after photo where I went from a size 16 to a 6 drinking this tea, you’re in the wrong place. As I was curious to know if detox tea would actually do anything at all, I want to share with you what it does do so that you can make up your mind on whether or not you think it’s worth your time.
I was sent a bag of the Fabuloss 14 Day Teatox Morning Boost and the Fabuloss 14 Day Teatox Night Cleanse which claim to help kick start a healthy new you. They are said to be all natural and caffeine-free. They are suitable for vegetarians and vegans, are wheat-free, dairy-free, nut-free, fairwild, gluten-free, soya-free, kosher, safe to take with the pill and contain absolutely no laxatives – or so the press release led me to believe. The most important thing for me was that they didn’t contain laxatives and were safe to use while on the pill as I know SEVERAL people who have gotten pregnant while doing one of these detoxes because their pill was flushed through their system. I double-checked this with the PR for the brand who assured me ‘no laxatives, safe with the pill’.
As an impatient person, I began the teatox the day after I received the tea. Each bag contains fourteen teagbags so you have a morning one every morning and a night one every evening for two weeks – in case that wasn’t clear. There were no specific instructions but I drank my morning one every morning first thing before there was anything else in my system. If I was having coffee – which, let’s face it, I usually am – I would have it afterwards. I would have the night one before I went to sleep at night. I’m pretty sure it was always the last thing I consumed too. As I said there was no specific instructions to do this but it was just a sort of routine I got into and it worked because I didn’t miss a single tea for the two weeks!
The Morning Boost tea is said to support your body’s ability to lose weight, burn fat faster and detoxify while helping you to feel great while you do it. It claims to have a great berry taste and to have been crafted by experts to maximise detoxing without any side effects and to aid circulatory function.
The teas come individually wrapped in white paper bags but look like your average herbal teabag once removed. While the Morning Boost tea promised a berry flavour, it was very mild. The taste itself was inoffensive and if you drink a lot of herbal teas, it may taste a little familiar with a slight berry whisper to it. While the flavour didn’t bother me, it wasn’t a drink I particularly enjoyed or looked forward to. Now that the fourteen days are up, I couldn’t see myself opting for this particular tea again simply because it was very bland.
The ingredients weren’t actually something I studied until a few days into the detox so I was really happy to see that the tea was completely natural and just contained some fruits and herbs.
The Night Cleanse tea is said to be a calming tea that gently purifies and flushes the body of toxins. This one I really enjoyed the taste of.
I could definitely taste the aniseed in this and it has a much stronger taste than the Morning Boost. It is very sweet though because of the stevia and I felt a little sickened by it during my first mug. I did, however, get used to the taste and then really began to look forward to it before bed. Even now that I have finished the cleanse, I find myself longing for another cup. I also felt that it was quite relaxing to drink before laying my head down but then again, most herbal teas are!
Something I was a little concerned about when I was getting to grips with the teas was that it could be easy to get them confused seeing as the individual wrappers were plain white with no writing on them whatsoever. However I think this photograph illustrates that the teas do look quite different in their bags and honestly, the smell of aniseed is so strong from the Night Cleanse that there really is no danger of that! If I did get confused at any stage, a quick sniff pointed me in the right direction.
So, on to the experience itself. Besides the bombardment of ads on social media, the only thing I had really heard about detox teas was that they made you poop and that’s how they worked. With all of the promises of how these didn’t contain laxatives, I wondered what on earth these teas were supposed to do – make me sweat out my toxins? I didn’t dwell too much on it and decided to just drink the tea and see what happened for myself.
Halfway through my very first cup of Morning Boost, I felt a sharp cramp in my stomach. The type of cramp that makes you think you are going to be making a run for the toilet but it passed and nothing happened.
Three days in, I drank my Morning Boost and made my way to work. I was only there about ten minutes when I realised I needed to get to a bathroom. FAST. I made it and without being gorey, all I can say is it completely emptied me out. Within an hour I had been emptied three times. However after the third time, I got on with my day as usual with no other effects.
Day four, I was about a third of the way into my Morning Boost when I had to make a break for the toilet once more. Afterwards I drank about another third of the mug before another mad dash. I threw the final third down the sink because I had an hour and a half drive to work and nowhere to pull over if the urge came over me again.
After day three and four, the ‘cleanses’ weren’t regular. I would have the odd one but nothing as noticeable as the initial two. I would, however, definitely go to the toilet at least once a day which is very unusual for me. I rarely go. I’ve seen doctors about it. So, in a way, I was happy that at least it was making me regular.
That is until one day midway through my second week. I had an early shift and left work at 1pm. I got in my car and felt a little uneasy. It was too warm in my car and it was making me feel funny. I turned on the air conditioning and tried to ignore it. Now if you know Dublin geography, I work in the airport, drive through town to avoid the tolls and live near enough to Dundrum. In lunch time traffic, it can take me between an hour and a half to almost two hours to drive home. I got to Drumcondra – around twenty minutes into my drive – when I realised I needed to go the bathroom. Right away. There was nowhere to pull in. Could I barge into a random bar or cafe demanding to use their bathroom? It seemed a bit nuts. I got the sweats. My legs were shaking. I was nauseous. I seriously needed to go. I turned up the air conditioning and tried to distract myself with the radio. Five agonising minutes later, the feeling passed.
Within a short time, it was back again. This time I was almost in town. Now I have no sense of direction and literally know my way to work and home from work so even though I know the city centre like the back of my hand when walking, I had no idea how to drive anywhere with a bathroom. I held on and turned the air conditioning up once more. It passed. It happened again at Harold’s Cross – another half hour or so later.
It was when I got stopped at traffic lights at Rathfarnham that it got worse. I was only ten minutes or so from my house or five from my cousin’s. The urge was so strong that sitting at those lights I picked up my phone to call her and ask if she was home. There would be nothing worse than driving out of my way to her’s for her not be there. I would have to go in her front garden. There would be no other option. My hands were shaking and sweating as I picked up my phone and then realising the day and time, I copped that she would be in work. There was a possibility that there would be someone else in the house but I didn’t have time to start scrolling through my phonebook. Sitting at that light which seemed to glow continuously red for ten minutes, I genuinely thought that I was going to have to poo in my car. I thought that I sincerely had no choice. That it was going to happen regardless of what I did. My mind wandered to the embarrassment. To the clean up. Would I have to simply throw out my trousers? I wanted to cry. The light went green and I drove like a lunatic. I don’t know how I didn’t crash the car because I wasn’t thinking about driving or other road users, cyclists or pedestrians. I was only thinking about not pooping myself. I passed a McDonalds and contemplated running in but at this stage I was five minutes from my house and couldn’t deal with the thought of looking for a parking space etc. I continued on.
When I got to my house, I had barely pulled up outside before hopping out of the car and running straight to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for half an hour with incredible cramps and nausea, emptying almost twenty seven years of food out of my system. (Slight exaggeration). But even afterwards I felt horribly unwell and ended up falling asleep for an hour. While this tea had made me run to the bathroom a few times, this was the only time it had given me pains or nausea or any other horrible effects.
With all of that overlooked, the question now is obviously, am I a skinny cow?! I didn’t weigh myself before starting or take any overzealous before and after photos. Despite this tea claiming to help burn calories and boost weightloss, the only effect it really had was on my bloating. I suffer bloating quite badly and my stomach size fluctuates wildly depending on where I am in my cycle and what I’ve been eating or drinking. I can honestly say that during my two weeks drinking this tea, I didn’t suffer from bloating once. My stomach did look flatter than usual. However since I have stopped drinking this tea – which was only a few days ago – my stomach has continued to misbehave as usual. In fact, it was painfully bloated yesterday because I’m currently ovulating. It really made me realise how effective the tea was at cutting bloating.
However, I must ask, at what cost? Despite its no-laxative promise, obviously the herbs in this tea act as a natural laxative! And I cannot, cannot, CANNOT understand how this is safe to take with the pill if I am expelling everything from my system on the daily! I’ll update you if I’m pregnant, eh?
Something else I want to throw in here even though I’m not sure if it is relevant or not is that over the course of the teatox, I got sick. I had a chest infection/flu type thing and I felt awful. I can’t say the tea gave me the flu but it did cross my mind that it may have weakened my immune system by flushing me out. I haven’t had a proper flu in YEARS. There have been several times where every member of my household, my extended family, my coworkers, my friends have all been dying of some horrible dose and I have walked away unscathed. I pride myself on having a good immune system! So it just seemed odd to me that I was suddenly struck down with the plague at the same time as cleansing my system. I could be reaching with this one but I had to throw it in.
All in all, do I recommend this? I can’t say I do. Sure, two weeks of not being bloated sounds lovely if you have an event or occasion coming up but do you honestly want to poo in your own car? I don’t think that taking something that works as a laxative is a healthy way to lose weight or cut bloating. Blah blah healthy diet, regular exercise, everything in moderation blah blah, I say while sitting in bed drinking wine and eating Hunky Dorys as I type. But hey, it’s your own underwear that will suffer so it’s completely up to you.
In my opinion, myth busted.
What do you think?
Will you be trying a teatox?
Disclaimer: The was sent to me as a PR sample. I am under no obligation to mention it on my blog and it does not affect my opinion of the product in any way.
No affiliate links were used.